Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre
by Myok
Summary: Vash, Wolfwood, Meryl and Milly have retired to a trailer park community. This turns out to be a bad thing.
1. Suffering of the Masses

Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre  
  
Attempts to do for Trigun what "Springtime for Hitler" did for musicals, and "Gumby Classic Theatre" did for Anton Chekov's "The Cherry Orchard." I don't own Trigun, etc. Lots of smack talk and thoroughly offensive behavior but no unusual violence or vulgarity. I'm a total idiot when it comes to music, so prepare to have your intelligence insulted.  
  
P.S. Hilltop exists. I lived there.  
  
Chapter One: Suffering of the Masses  
  
The Scene: a desert planet. The tiny, heart-warming trailer community of Hilltop is tucked away on a dune between two mountains. Leaves and garbage drifting across dirt paths. The light aroma of sour milk. A wriggling column of smoke wisps skyward, blown by the erratic morning wind.  
  
A scruffy blue-suited man and a tall, visibly pregnant woman are lounging in fold-out deck chairs on the porch of a rusted trailer. The man lights up a smoke.   
  
Milly: Put that cigarette out! I told you, it's bad for the baby!  
  
Wolfwood: Whadda I care, t'ain't my baby nohow.  
  
Milly: Oh! {whacks him in the face with the morning paper}. I suppose you know better than me whose baby it is?  
  
Wolfwood: Ow! Bitch!  
  
Milly: Street bum!  
  
Wolfwood: Ho bag!  
  
Milly: Lazy ragamuffin don't pay no bills!  
  
Wolfwood: Now that's unfair. I'm a preacher, I ain't got no money!  
  
Meanwhile, in the trailer next door, a heavily sequened red-trenchcoat-wearing man is arguing with a short, heavily armed woman. The man is holding up in one hand a leather bikini-looking thing and in the other a book entitled "Pimping Hoes for Fun and Profit."   
  
Vash: Come on, try it on, please?  
  
Meryl: Dammit, Vash, I will NOT be your "ho!"  
  
Vash: But Meryl, think of the money it would make us. I'd get to be a dressy pimpster and drive around in a limo and you'd get half of the money and a chance to get to know a bunch of nice people and... {Meryl smacks him.} OW!  
  
Meryl: GET OUT! {boots Vash in the keister, sending him sailing across the lot where he lands, oh the coincidences, in front of Wolfwood and Milly.}   
  
Vash: {in a heap} Aururuuggh.  
  
Milly: Well looky there, it's that no good wanna-be pimp daddy Vash the Stampede. Long time no see, cupcake.  
  
Vash: {moans} Er, hi.  
  
Wolfwood: "CUPCAKE?!" Where did that come from? "Pimp daddy?" I KNEW HE WAS THE FATHER OF MY CHILD! {Leaps from the porch, jumps up and down on Vash}. How dare you! Taking advantage of a sweet, innocent girl!  
  
Vash: Huh? OW! Stop it! What are you talking about? Wait a second! {grabs Wolfwood's ankle and manages to trip him. They both fall to the ground.}  
  
SUDDENLY, FOR NO VISIBLE REASON THE SUN EXPLODES!  
  
Meryl: Hey, guys, the sun exploded.  
  
Wolfwood: {struggling} So what? We have a spare!  
  
Wolfwood and Vash roll around for about 15 minutes.  
  
Milly: Will you two stop that? This isn't that kind of story!  
  
Wolfwood and Vash: Awww...  
  
Enter Meryl from next door.  
  
Meryl: Has anyone seen that jackass Vash? Hey Vash, stop rooting around in the dirt like a filthy pig and get up! This came in the mail for you! {drags Vash out of the mud, hands him a slim, official-looking envelope}.  
  
Vash: Uh oh, that looks serious. {sniffs it} Smells serious, too. {opens it up, reads silently. Notices everyone else watching him} WILL YOU ALL STOP STARING AT ME?  
  
Milly: {blinks innocently} But, cupcake, there's nothing cuter to look at for iles around...  
  
Wolfwood: Will you stop it?!  
  
Milly: Oh, shut up Wolfy.  
  
Vash: It's a bill from the Bernardelli Insurance Company for sixty billion double dollars in damages! Oh well, time to fake my own death again.  
  
Meryl: {sighs} I'll start packing.  
  
Vash: No, just kidding {dumb grin}. It's a foreclosure notice. See Meryl, I told you we needed the money!  
  
Meryl: Like hell.  
  
Vash: Wait, it's ticking! It's a BOMB! {Everyone ducks. Vash quickly folds the envelope up, tucks it in his trenchcoat and dashes off leaving a trail of dust behind}.  
  
Wolfwood: {standing up} Eh?  
  
We hear a distant explosion. Vash limps back, covered in soot, his trenchcoat in tatters.  
  
Vash: I saved everyone's life again.  
  
Meryl: Next time, could we please get an unlisted address? 


	2. Rap, Rap, Rapping on Heaven's Door

Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre  
  
Possibly the most rotten, stinking, godawful offensive song fic in the history of fic-dom. It crawled into my ear in the shower and I had to get it out of my head.  
  
Chapter Two: Rap, Rap, Rapping on Heaven's Door  
  
Wolfwood and Vash are ambling down the sidewalk along the border of Hilltop and civilization.   
  
Wolfwood: Ya know, this is a low income podunk kind of town, right?  
  
Vash: Right.  
  
Wolfwood: So, how come everybody in this raggedy ass little trailer park of ours is white?  
  
Vash: What? Hey, you know, I never thought about that.   
  
Wolfwood: T'ain't nobody here but us po' white trash. Strange, ain't it?  
  
Vash: Bet your phoney hick accent drives them off.  
  
Wolfwood: Nah, it's your pea-brained pimp daddy prostytootin'.  
  
Vash: No, it's that awful screeching you call singing.  
  
Wolfwood: {offended} It's "rapping." It's not "singing."  
  
Vash: What's the difference?  
  
Wolfwood: Apparently nothing to your uncultivated ears. Boy, you better learn this fast if you want to make it on the street. Rapping is like poetry, defining attitude, expressing independence...  
  
Vash: Crossing your arms, displaying your hoes.  
  
Wolfwood: You only get those if you're good. Singing, on the other hand, is less about gunfire and more about notes. Here, listen to this and tell me if it's rapping or singing.  
  
Vash: Dear Lord, no.  
  
Wolfwood: And no blasphemy! Or I'll use this! {whips out his mini-confessional. A small black cat drops out of the bottom and runs off, meowing.}  
  
Vash: Ok, ok, let's just get it over with.  
  
Wolfwood: {to the tune of "Slop the Hogs."}  
  
My self-esteem is in the tubes,  
My life is full of woes,  
But I know just the thing to do,  
It's time to slap the hoes.  
  
Slap the hooooooooes,   
slap the hooooooooes.  
I thought she was a lady   
but she's just a skanky ho.  
  
Those lazy hoes must pay their dues  
so I can buy some clothes.  
They'll bring in dough or I'll make news,  
It's time to slap the hoes.  
  
Slap the hoooooooooes,   
slap the hoooooooooes.  
Teach them bitches who's the boss  
and make them lick your toes!  
  
My girls work cheap but they ain't free  
as anybody knows,  
I'm living in misogyny,  
It's time to slap the hoes.  
  
Sell dem hoes for drugs and cash,  
dressed in leather, chains and sash,  
if they bitch they'll get the lash,  
it's time to slap the hoes.  
  
Vash: {trembling} Make it stop, please.   
  
Wolfwood: So what was that, rap or singing?  
  
Vash: It was awful. Awful, awful, awful.  
  
Wolfwood: Come on.  
  
Vash: I can't hear you, my ears went on strike at the refrain.  
  
Wolfwood: Fine. Now for the next one. Listen closely.   
  
Vash has curled up in a little ball. The small black cat wanders up. It sniffs Vash curiously. Suddenly from out of hyperspace pop chibi Meryl and Milly! Milly is manning a portable two-plate D.J. table balanced on her very pregnant belly. Meryl is dressed in the leather bikini-thing from chapter one. She puts on a pair of sunglasses, crosses her arms and scowls.  
  
Chibi Wolfwood: {to the scratching of records and very loud bass}  
  
Huh! Mee-sa good in bed!  
That's what she said! In bed!  
Lookit my chains, ain't they shiny and def!  
I can rap on for hours till I run out of breath!  
  
I'm Masta Peeps! My hoes are my sheeps!  
When they get out of line I makes 'em weeps!  
You can try 'em but you can't buy them!  
'cause they be mine and I kind of like 'em!  
  
Lookit my limo, ain't it stylin'!  
It matches my shoes and my hat, I ain't lyin'!  
Don't mess with this mutha, I'll put you to shame,  
then I'll do something nasty and you'll get the blame.  
  
My gun is da bomb! It holds 50 bullets!  
I use it to shoot things like guys wearing mullets!  
'cept I never so dumb to take lead on a plane.  
The brothers who do that ain't got no brain!  
  
Ho yuh!   
  
{Exit Meryl and Milly. Vash is lying in the curb, writhing in agony. The cat has dived for cover. Wolfwood looks hurt.}  
  
Wolfwood: Can you tell the difference now?  
  
Vash: I want to die. I want to die. 


	3. Late Night Talk with Meryl and Milly

Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre  
  
Gads, not only does this chapter have lame jokes aplenty, it also has a SPOILER for the WHOLE TRIGUN SERIES. If you haven't already watched up to the last episode, please do so before reading on.   
  
Chapter Three: Late Night Talk with Meryl and Milly  
  
The girls are sitting on a couch listening to the radio. A familiar black cat snoozes at Milly's feet.   
  
Kuroneko: Nyah.  
  
Meryl: Milly, do you ever get tired of being called a skanky ho?  
  
Milly: Sometimes. When that happens I pull out my knitting for a while. It helps me calm down, and for some reason it shuts people up.  
  
Meryl: That's because your knitting needles are three feet long.   
  
Milly: I knit for tall people!  
  
Meryl: {grumbles}  
  
Milly: Is something wrong?  
  
Meryl: Nothing.   
  
{The radio cuts in.}  
  
Announcer: This is Michiko Kawaii with an Urgent Critical News Flash: giant galloping thunderclouds are approaching Hilltop at a tremendous rate of speed! Hurricane-force winds are expected! Lightning is striking everywhere! Duck and cover now!  
  
Meryl: So, Wolfwood doing ok?  
  
Milly: It's hard to tell. Sometimes he gets all quiet and contemplative and I wonder what he's thinking. I try to ask him and he goes on about how I'm not qualified to receive confessions. How about Vash?  
  
Meryl: I should have never shown him that men's fashion magazine.   
  
Milly: Why not?  
  
Meryl: I'm allergic to the perfume.  
  
{Laugh track from the radio.}  
  
Meryl: {hitting the radio} It's not THAT funny.  
  
Milly: Meryl, is there such a thing as pickle-flavored pudding?  
  
Meryl: NO! Of course not! Yech! Why?  
  
Milly: Oh, never mind. {knits. long pause. Meryl is in deep thought.}  
  
Meryl: Milly, if you had to write a letter home to your parents saying you'd run off to marry a space alien, how would you phrase it?  
  
Milly: {stops knitting} Hmmm. I think I would say, "Dear Mom and Dad, how are you? I am fine. The weather is good. I found someone I love very much and would like to marry. Is that ok? Love, me."  
  
Meryl: That's it?  
  
Milly: Yes, that should do it. {resumes knitting.}  
  
Meryl: I can't stand it. {gets up, paces} "Dear Mom and Dad, after a successful if brief career as an insurance agent for the Bernardelli Insurance Society, my co-worker Milly and I have resigned to follow around this TOTAL LOSER SPACE ALIEN PLANT GUY named Vash the Stampede. You may have heard of him. We saved the planet but got in a lot of trouble for it and are now living in filth and obscurity. I still don't know what I see in the guy but we're going to get married. Can you please send some money so we can rent a chapel and don't have to have Vash's scraggy-ass preacher buddy do the ceremony?"  
  
Milly: Wolfwood does not have a scraggy ass. He has a very nice ass. You wouldn't like it if I said nasty things about Vash's ass now, would you?  
  
Meryl: Ok, ok, sorry. 


	4. Drugs, Sex and Gunfire

Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre  
by Myok  
  
I have to come clean about the title of this chapter. There's no actual sex in it. Milly's already pregnant, Meryl's been in PMS for roughly 26 episodes, and Vash and Wolfwood are too busy slacking off to get into any serious yaoi action.  
  
Also, there's no drugs. Milly's pretty insistent about Wolfwood smoking outside the trailer, and since the recent upchuck event atop Hilltop's water tower, everyone's been hiding the beer bottles from Vash.   
  
Having said that, onwards with the Obligatory Trigun Fight Scene!  
  
Chapter Four: Drugs, Sex and Gunfire  
  
Vash: Bang!  
  
Wolfwood: Bang Bang! 


	5. Angel Arms and Pigeon Poop

Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre  
by Myok  
  
Spoiler for episode 16. No fictional animals were harmed in the writing of this chapter.  
  
Chapter Five: Angel Arms and Pigeon Poop  
  
Vash, Wolfwood, Meryl and Milly are taking a walk through the park behind Hilltop.  
  
Vash: Squirrel! {aims his angel arm at a passing squirrel}  
  
Milly: That's not nice, Vash.  
  
Vash: You're right, Milly, I don't know what came over me. PIGEON! {aims at a nearby pigeon}  
  
Meryl: {clobbers Vash} That's not nice either!  
  
Vash: {whining} Why do I always have to be the nice guy?  
  
Wolfwood: Oh, shut up.  
  
Meryl: {to Wolfwood} Has he been drinking?  
  
Wolfwood: I don't think so, we've been hiding the hooch. Hey Vash, you been drinking?  
  
Vash: No.  
  
Meryl: Ask him why he's being such a trigger-happy moron then.  
  
Wolfwood: What am I, messenger-boy? You ask him.  
  
Vash: Meryl, you know that I love and respect life in all its forms. But that pigeon and that squirrel did something to me that I can never forgive.   
  
Meryl: What?  
  
Vash: This! {He spins around. The rear flaps of his trenchcoat have been completely gnawed off.} I was walking along minding my own business when a pigeon pooped on me! After I washed my trenchcoat I left it out to dry and when I came back I found it like this!  
  
Milly: You could make a vest out of it.  
  
Vash: {chibifies, arms flailing} I hate it I hate it I hate it!  
  
Wolfwood: And so the mighty Vash the Stampede is transformed from savior of mankind to pathetic fashion victim. Woe is us.  
  
Meryl: You said it. 


	6. Save the Doughnut

Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre  
by Myok  
  
Chapter Six: Save the Doughnut  
  
Late afternoon at the trailer park. Wolfwood has gone out on a shopping run. Vash is sprawled out on a deck chair with his sunglasses dangling off one ear. Meryl is typing away on her manual typewriter. Milly (as pregnant as ever) is practicing breathing exercises.  
  
Milly: Huff, puff, whoosh. Huff, puff, whoosh.  
  
Vash: {snores loudly}  
  
Meryl: {grumbles, typing} These keys are sticking. {types harder} The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy bum. The smelly brown fox jumped over the drunk, lazy bum. The smelly no-good brown wolf jumped over the drunk, lazy, mentally-disturbed bum. The rotten smelly no-good broke-as-can-be preacher Wolfwood jumped over the drunk, lazy, mentally-disturbed and terminally clueless Vash the Stampede.   
  
Vash: {blinking} What? Did you say something Meryl?  
  
Meryl: No, nothing.  
  
The coughing, banging sound of a hoopty-cycle grows near. Wolfwood steps off his bike, holding a bag of groceries in one hand and, joy of joys, a box of doughnuts in the other.  
  
Vash: {sniffs, abruptly awakens} Doughnuts!  
  
Wolfwood: {tossing a doughnut sideways} Vash, this one's yours.  
  
Vash: Nooooooo! {takes long slow-motion leap through the air towards the doughnut}  
  
Wolfwood: Now that that's done with, the rest of you take your pick. I hate how he always steals the first one.  
  
Meryl: Thanks, Wolfwood.  
  
Milly: Huff puff. Yes, thank you very much! {munches}  
  
Vash is still diving towards the doughnut which is slowly revolving as it creeps across the sky.   
  
Vash: {in slow-motion} Nooooooooo!  
  
Wolfwood picks up Vash's dropped sunglasses.  
  
Wolfwood: How can he see out of these things? Man they're dirty. {scrubs them against his scruffy jacket, tries them on. Boy does he look dumb. Meryl and Milly point and laugh.}  
  
Wolfwood: Okay, okay! {takes them off}.   
  
Vash is still flying through the air, his velocity slightly greater than that of the gently arcing doughnut.  
  
Vash: {still slow-mo} Noooooooo!  
  
Vash's grasping hands are inches away from the doughnut, but at that moment, a familiar squirrel leaps through the hole in the doughnut, which bursts into pieces! A pigeon flits over and starts pecking away hungrily.  
  
Vash: {nose buried in the dirt} Aw dang it!  
  
A black cat leaps into the clearing. The pigeon takes flight and the squirrel scampers away, each with a big mouthful of the remains. The cat tears off after them.  
  
Vash: {in tears} Waaaaah!  
  
Wolfwood, Meryl, Millie: {together} Now that's pathetic. 


	7. Pop a Cap in the Moon, Baby!

Chibi Rapfest Trailer-Trash Trigun Theatre  
by Myok  
  
In which everyone is happily and thoroughly convinced that there will be NO SEQUELS! Spoilers for the whole series, as usual, and a cheap shot at the end.  
  
Chapter Seven: Pop a Cap in the Moon, Baby!  
  
Night, with a bright full moon and scattered clouds. The boys (Wolfwood and Vash) are hanging out next to a trash barrel behind Vash's trailer. A large heap of beer cans looms nearby. A closer inspection reveals that each one has a bullet hole right between the eyes of "Huck", the Gunsmoke Beer Bear. Wolfwood's cross is propped up behind a large cooler.  
  
Wolfwood: You were drunk.  
  
Vash: I was not.  
  
Wolfwood: You were so.  
  
Vash: No, I was being mind-controlled.  
  
Wolfwood: Hardly likely. We all know how well you hold your booze. You ran off feeling sorry for yourself, got drunk, and in your addled stupor you decided it would be cool to blow a humongous crater in the moon.  
  
Vash: It wasn't like that at all.  
  
Wolfwood: {takes a swig of beer} How was it then?  
  
Vash: I... don't remember.  
  
Wolfwood: A-ha! Proof enough!   
  
Vash: That's not fair.  
  
Wolfwood: Whatever. Pull! {He lobs his empty beer can up in the air. Vash ignores it. The can lands in the pile with a loud clatter.} Hrmph.  
  
Vash: It's getting cold out.  
  
Wolfwood: Have a beer, it'll make you feel warmer.  
  
The wind blows. We hear the sound of hubcaps clanking as they swing on wires.  
  
Vash: I know they were cheaper than getting wind chimes, but don't you think that looks a little tacky?  
  
Wolfwood: Nah.  
  
The silhouette of an owl crosses the moon. Meryl pokes her head out of the window.  
  
Meryl: The radio is forecasting "imminent doom", guys. Are you two up to something?  
  
Vash: Not us.  
  
Wolfwood: Sorry.  
  
Meryl: Just checking.  
  
She closes the window. The thump of the windowsill echoes back and forth between the hills. It fades out, but is replaced with a faint rumbling.  
  
Wolfwood: You eat today, Vash?  
  
Vash: No, you threw my doughnut away you crummy bastard.  
  
Wolfwood: {grinning} Oh yeah, that's right, sorry about that.  
  
The rumbling is getting closer. The occasional "bang" and "clank" accompany it.  
  
Wolfwood: Were we expecting company tonight?  
  
Vash: No. Who could it be?   
  
They look at the approaching light. Coming into view through the dim haze is a hulking white pick-up truck.  
  
Vash: I sense... peace. Peace and love.  
  
Wolfwood: Driving THAT?  
  
The pick-up accelerates, pulls a boot-legger reverse scattering beer cans everywhere, and skids to a stop. On the side of the truck is written in sloppy black paint "I LOVE EVERYONE!" The driver's side door opens. Two metallic white boots step down onto the gravel. Blond straight hair rustles in the breeze.  
  
Knives: Hi, guys! I'm back!  
  
Vash and Wolfwood sweatdrop heavily.  
  
Knives: Whoo, it's been a while hasn't it. Vash, bro, it's great to see you! I have to hand it to you, that Anger Management class you sent me to did a power of good! I feel like I could just reach out and hug the whole world!  
  
Vash: That's great...  
  
Knives: Wolfwood, how's it hanging? Sorry about that whole Chapel incident. I'm a new man now. What say we go find some orphans and start a school?  
  
Wolfwood: Um...  
  
Knives: Say, weren't you dead?  
  
Vash: You know, Wolfwood, I was meaning to ask you about that.  
  
Wolfwood: I can explain.  
  
Knives: Please do!  
  
Wolfwood: You know in the story Peter Pan, where Tinkerbell saves Peter's life by drinking the poison potion and is about to die, but all the kids of the world get together and clap their hands and say "I believe in fairies" and she gets better? Well there I was in the cathedral bleeding all over the aisle, making my peace with God. Then I heard it. Hundreds, no, thousands of voices were calling out, "Don't die Wolfwood, don't die, you're too cool a character to die, Milly needs you, the world needs you!" So I got better.   
  
Mysterious Voice: SO DID WE!  
  
Knives, Wolfwood, Vash: WHAT?!  
  
A burst of meterologically improbable but dramatically necessary lightning reveals, standing atop the trailers, a line of twelve, count 'em, twelve sinister figures!  
  
Voice: Monev the Gale!  
  
Monev is dressed in orange Judo robes and has huge spikey black hair.  
  
Voice: Dominique the Cyclops!  
  
Dominique is wearing stilts and has her Demon's Eye in the middle of her forehead.  
  
Voice: Zazie the Beast!  
  
Zazie is in short white karate robes. He is completely bald.  
  
Voice: Midvalley the Horn Freak!  
  
Midvalley is wearing white martial arts robes, a turbin, and large green pointy ears.  
  
Voice: Caine the Long Shot!  
  
Caine is holding a 40-foot long fishing rod with a sign on the hook. The sign says, "Bang!"  
  
Voice: E.G. Mine!  
  
E.G. Mine stands tall and proud behind a snow-plow blade.  
  
Voice: Raidei the Blade!   
  
Raidei is wielding a fiercesome sword which says "Nerf" on the side.  
  
Voice: Hoppered the Gauntlet!  
  
Hoppered looks as sinister as a four-seat merry-go-round can look.  
  
Voice: Grey the Nine Lives!  
  
A small grey mechanical kitten perks its ears up.  
  
Grey: Miu?  
  
Voice: Chapel the Evergreen!  
  
Chapel makes the Sign of the Cross.  
  
Chapel: Peace be with you!  
  
Voice: Leonov the Puppetmaster!  
  
The Puppetmaster is holding Punch and Judy puppets.  
  
Puppetmaster: Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into, Judy!  
  
Voice: And finally, myself, Legato Bluesummers. {steps forward into the light}  
  
Legato: As you can see, Vash, we're all fine.  
  
Vash: {slumps} But... how... you were all dead...  
  
Legato: That's correct, and we didn't enjoy it, not at all. There were no little kids clapping their hands and chanting "bring back Legato!" But do you know what? Even the meanest, nastiest, most loathsome characters can come back to life if THEY DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS OTHER CHARACTERS! Once we figured that out, it was easy to convince those fools to wish us back using their... um... magic ball devices.   
  
Monev: That's right, and now you cannot defeat us for we are more powerful than you!  
  
Legato: Shut up, Monev. Unfortunately, there were some side-effects to the resurrection process. I understand it has something to do with ratings. Nevertheless we shall now crush you and destroy this world!  
  
Milly and Meryl open the door.  
  
Meryl: Guys could you keep it down out here... AAAUUUUGHHHH! {Milly and Meryl chibify, arms and legs flailing}  
  
Milly: It's THEM!  
  
Meryl: Vash, do something!  
  
Wolfwood: {grabs his cross} It's hopeless...  
  
Vash: No, there's something I can do. Will you help me brother?  
  
Knives: Aw hell, Vash, you know I'm out of practice.  
  
Wolfwood: Duck and cover!  
  
Meryl, Milly and Wolfwood dive into a storm shelter. Knives and Vash draw their guns. The Gung-ho Guns aim their various objects at the pair.   
  
Legato: You won't do this.  
  
Vash: I will.  
  
Legato: You won't.  
  
Knives: We will.  
  
Vash: You can't make me not do it.  
  
Legato: I can too.  
  
Dominique: He will so.  
  
Grey: Miu?  
  
Vash and Knives: It's time to end the evil forever!  
  
Vash and Knives join hands, their guns transform as their Angel Arms sprout, the power grows, blinding light shines forth, the hum of great power grows louder and louder!  
  
Monev: But, but, how can this be? Their power is more powerful than our power!  
  
Legato: SHUT UP, MONEV! {whips out a pocket watch on a chain, swings it in front of Vash's face} You are getting sleepy, very sleepy...  
  
Knives: Do you know what time it is, Legato?  
  
Legato: Let me check. {he looks at his watch}  
  
Knives: It's time to DIE!  
  
The blast of energy bursts up and out, incinerating everything. Buildings collapse, the water tower explodes in a burst of super-heated steam. A huge fireball expands outwards, roasting the air, filling the valley completely. Silence. The sound of running water. The clattering of a hubcap as it spins to a halt.   
  
Gung-ho Guns: {wearing halos} Dammit, not again. MAKE-UP!  
  
The lid of the storm shelter opens. Wolfwood climbs out first, cross held ready. Meryl and Milly follow.   
  
Wolfwood: Well look at that.  
  
Knives and Vash lie unconscious in the epicenter of the huge smoking crater. They are still holding hands.  
  
Milly: What will we do now? Hilltop has been completely destroyed!   
  
Meryl: Whatever we do, it won't be here.  
  
Wolfwood: I kind of like the idea of taking care of orphans again.  
  
Milly: Me too. Shall we?  
  
Wolfwood: I guess we shall.  
  
Wolfwood lifts up Knives, Meryl hauls Vash up onto her shoulders, and together with Milly they walk off into the night.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
